Stretch Marks (queue terrible selfie)

I remember someone mentioning to me at 6 months pregnant about stretch marks and the question of did I have any coming up. I didn’t at the time but sure as sh*t didn’t I see one while in the shower later that week. I think at 18 years old my skin was just so young the first time around it couldn’t handle it. With later pregnancies, I didn’t suffer anywhere near as bad with the tiger stripes.

My mother had assured me that the stretch marks would fade over time. I checked back in with her very four hours from there on one for the next 6 month to lament that they were not fading and she in fact was a liar. My hourly moisturising and obsessing had gotten me no where.

After I stopped shoving my stomach in my mother’s face I come to accept that I had to say goodbye to bikinis from there on in. What bikinis? I had never even worn a bikini let alone owned one. As a pale, ginger Irish girl who was allergic to the sun I didn’t really have my midriff on display a hell of a lot. Don’t get me wrong if there was a magic wand to get rid of them (someone should be working on that really) I would use it but I had to put it in perspective. I wasn’t really thinking about them until I was looking up close at them, naked in a mirror. So eventually I stopped doing that. I stop punishing myself for having a body of a woman who had had a baby. Of course, I was lucky to be health and have a gorgeous healthy baby (as very one kept reassuring me). But it didn’t help me feel better about my body. I had to figure that out myself.

I think at the time because I was a single mother I already had the fear of ‘who’d want me?’ And now with very visible war wounds I was feeling shell shocked.

My mother was right they do fade just not completely. But coupled with my caring about them fading more they are something I rarely think about. Yes, I’ll have to turn down a lot of lingerie photoshoot that I’ll no doubt be offer before the year is out but hey I’ll get over it.

20170107_100623
I’m at a point where I can look in the mirror without ripping myself to shreds

About 6 months after giving birth for the first time I told my friend about my terrible stretch marks. She asked could she see them and I said no. Today if I was asked the same question I’d give a different answer. Just maybe give me a glass of wine first.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s