I Hate Everyone on the School Run (Except Tom)

So, towards the end of the summer (who am I kidding, a week in) I was looking forward to my son starting school. Ah a bit of routine will be great for all of us, I chanted most of August.

I was anxious during the built up though too. How would he get on? The nightmares that he would wet his pants, get sick and have a meltdown before 9.30am on the first day. Thankfully none of this happened. Like everything else it quickly became the new norm.

Queue today and I can’t believe it’s not Easter yet. AHHHHH!!! Every day is like Groundhog Day. There’s the lollipop lady. There’s yer wan with the twins. Sure, the fella with the kid who keeps stopping with the scooter, there he is. Like every other single morning. And I’m lucky that everyone is happy for the most part, as long as I keep buying emoji cheese strings. But sometimes I’d just love something to happen

If the lollipop lady told the man who keeps running across the road when there’s a red man to ‘cop the f**k on or she’ll give him a whack of her lollipop. That would be a good start. I know she’s dying to.

Now if I bumped into Tom Hardy on the walk to school that would be great. I’d ask for a photo. I’d have been so charming that Tom would have felt comfortable enough to go in for the kiss on the cheek. Only I thought it was a hug. And before you know it we’re there milling into each other. Completely by accident.

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Ok maybe the lollipop lady scenario is slightly more plausible. But even at that I can’t be relaying on her to throw a wobbler and for me to be there.

I think for the moment I’ll just have to go about the school run as if Tom could be watching. It might give me a bit of a perk in my step.

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